However, what really caught my eye was this description of the robber from the story in the Naples Daily News:
"The robber is described as 50 to 60 years old, 5 feet, 8 inches tall
and about 200 pounds. He has light-colored hair and a salt-and-pepper
mustache and was wearing beige shorts, a Hawaiian-type shirt, shower
sandals and a baseball cap."
Now, you might not know Naples, but this description, including clothing, fits roughly half the male population. Hell, this description fits me, if you overlook the light-colored hair and the mustache — both of which could be store-bought. I need to change the photo on this blog.
Still, this is not the typical description of a bank robber in, say, Detroit. It got me to thinking of why he might have done it. And so, with a nod to David Letterman, I composed my Top Ten Reasons a middle aged man in a Hawaiian shirt and shower sandals would rob a bank in Naples, Florida. Drum roll, please…
10. Mercedes mechanic now getting $125 hour
9. Still ten more years until Social Security kicks in
8. Gassing up the boat for an hour of water skiing now requires $250
7. Wife has been watching "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" on ABC
6. Prices on Tommy Bahama clothing skyrocketing
5. Daughter has announced engagement, wants $75,000 wedding — with ice sculptures.
4. Estate Planning lawyer now charging $475 hour
3. Twenty-five-year-old girlfriend said the words "Manolo Blahnik"
2. Titleist Pro V-1’s cost $55 a dozen
And the number one reason a middle aged man in a Hawaiian shirt and shower sandals would rob a bank in Naples, Florida:
1. Medicare Part D doesn’t cover Viagra
<Flipping card to audience>